I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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