I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
