The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I smell like Dick and happiness
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize