help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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