I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
