I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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