Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
