I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
