I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
