i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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