Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
