I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
