I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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