I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
