this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
