big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
