They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We have started to decorate penises.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
