I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
