he shaved USA in his pubs
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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