Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
