I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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