the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
