ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
