Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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