Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
