He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
