...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He passed out mid-signature
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
