As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
