My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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