Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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