He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
