I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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