that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
