Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
