Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
