Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
