she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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