I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
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Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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