I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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