My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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