Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the liver wants what the liver wants
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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