Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
high people should be assigned attendants
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
