but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it hurts more in the daytime
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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