my mouth tastes like poor choices
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
