Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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