They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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