i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize