You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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