I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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