so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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