i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
