I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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