Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
