i can't believe i had my finger in that
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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