i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
