But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
